FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
