I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
