Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
