that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
