How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
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