So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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