you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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