VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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