somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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