Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
