what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just want to make out with him forever
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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