You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
