I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
