just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
