no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
if you like me you must not know who I am
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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