Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
