theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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