Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
We smell like vodka and hangover
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