I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
