to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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