I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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