yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
