I'm going to jail i love you
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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