You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
