ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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