So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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