And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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