Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
