i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
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Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
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It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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