i think my mom watched the whole time
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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