Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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