I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
