all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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