therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
