You work out of a Hotel?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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