i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
