theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize