It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
