You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
