You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
