Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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