My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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