just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
