where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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