are you still at the devil's house?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
