Your face is a jimmy john
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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