It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
two words: eviction party
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
