YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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