He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
