theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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