Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize