i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
