Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
