So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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