You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
