i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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