I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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