i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
