i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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