omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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