i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
