are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
