I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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