dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
